ImpostorMom

I often feel like I’m waiting for my real, grown-up life to begin. That in itself is a ridiculous notion. How much more “grown-up” could I get? With a house, a husband, a new baby, a career type job, etc. I look around sometimes and wonder how I got here.

This is not to say that I do not love my life. I love my husband (although he can piss me off faster than anyone else on the planet) and I adore my new baby. The job is bearable but I just don’t quite remember how I made the decisions that landed me right smack in the middle of my adult life.

Maybe that’s how life goes, it’s a series of decisions until one day you wake up and go “wait, this isn’t what I dreamt about as a child.” In this I speak mainly of the career I suppose. I just always dreamed I’d do something more exciting, more fulfilling, more explainable. I tell people what I do and I am met with a blank stare that says, “I have no idea what that means.”

On these days I wake up feeling like an impostor in my own life. (hence the title) I’m just waiting for someone to find out that I’m not really the responsible adult I seem to be. I suspect that everyone feels this way at one time or another in some aspect of their lives. Maybe I’m wrong but I doubt it.

This entry was posted on August 18, 2007 at 9:45 am and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.