The husband and I practice the cry-it-out method of sleep training with our son. We started this when he was about 4-5 months old. I’m breastfeeding and he had decided that nursing 3-4 times a night was a swell way to get himself back to sleep. I am also a “work outside the home” mom with a regular 40-hour a week job on top of the 24/7 mom one. Having to get up at 5:30 am everyday in order to get myself and Booger ready and out the door make getting up 3-4 times a night very, very difficult.
This 3-4 times a night went on for about 2 weeks and we decided to try crying it out. I couldn’t do it and we gave in almost immediately. Another week went by and I was desperate. I felt as if I was dangerous on the road, I spent entire days at work crying because I was so tired. People would ask me how the baby was and I would burst into tears. It was awful. We tried again and after about 3-4 nights he was sleeping from 7:30pm until 6:30am straight through. It was as if the heavens had opened up and showered sheer bliss upon me.
Despite the fact that the entire family was clearly being negatively impacted by the 3-4 night wakings, I continued to get advice like “oh they are only this little once,” “this too shall pass,” “he’ll grow out of it,” “you know sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone and it can’t be forced.” blah blah blah, NOT helpful. While all of these things were said hoping to offer some advice, they were basically telling me to get over it and suck it up. I mean didn’t I realize this motherhood stuff was going to require a little sleep deprivation.
After the crying it out worked I have told many other mothers what we did and how it helped OUR family. I am not one to push what I do on other people because it’s not right for everyone and I am a big believer in you do what is right for your own family. I simply share my experiences and let other take what they will from them. OMG the looks and comments from other mothers in my breastfeeding support group, ok well maybe just one other mother but the level of judging and condescension was enough for a whole army of “sanctimommies.” “Oh, I could never let my little angel cry like that, he gets up 3 times a night too but I just get up and nurse him right back to sleep.” Well good for you, I need more than 2 hour chunks of sleep to function in the real world.
Booger has since gone back to getting up once a night and I am fine with that. However this woman’s opinion that I somehow didn’t love my son as much as she loved hers really burned me up. I bend over backwards for this kid and I love him to pieces. I NEEDED to get more sleep so I could BE the best mom I can be. Who wants a mommy that cries all the time and falls asleep at the wheel anyway?
That experience made me wonder, What’s with all the hating on other moms just because they do things differently? I take responsibility for my child and my family, the rest of y’all can do things however you see fit in your own families, that’s your business and none of mine.
This post for Controversial Post Day in support of Life With Hannah and Lily. Check it out and see what a wonderful and special little girl Hannah is and how strong and brave her mother has been. How anyone could leave negative comments in her situation is beyond me.
August 25, 2007 at 2:09 pm |
I read everything about getting a child to sleep. Everything. The only way to get them to sleep is to cry it out. I still wish I had done it sooner. I now realize my problems with my kids was because they were exhausted from lack of sleep. That other mom was plain wrong. Sleep = happy kid, happy mom and happy family.
August 25, 2007 at 7:07 pm |
I was always a oh no I would never resort to the cry it out method. That was until my 3rd DD came along. We did the cry it out method about 6 months ago or so, she just refuse to sleep thru the night. She was almsot 2 and still got up, necessary? no just a bad habit. So we did it, took almost a week and you know what she still loved us when she got up in the morning so there to all those against it.
I was also appaled (sp?) to read that some people are so sick and demented to have left nasty comments to Hannah’s Mom. I read thru her journals for 3 hours yesterday and was just moved to tears.
August 28, 2007 at 2:17 am |
Don’t ever do anything for three hours that makes your cry. Really. Happiness is too hard to come by.
March 10, 2008 at 10:34 am |
[...] So the plan was for me to take time off so we could get rid of the bottles all together and do CIO again and get him sleeping. The thing is that when we decided to do that and I requested the time [...]