Make new friends but keep the old
One is silver and the other’s gold
The implication from that childhood song is that the old friends, the ones you’ve know for a long time, are somehow more valuable then the new ones. But didn’t everyone start off as a new friend?
Take Flower Child. She and I have known each other for 15 years. We attended graduate school with the intention of going out and making the world healthier. She was literally studying to do just that – her focus was on international public health. Mine was focused on a population – women and children – but after graduation it shifted to public policy.
But Flower Child is that type of friend every person should have. Funny, bright and solid. You can count on her to be there. Even if you haven’t talked to each other in over a year. Which I have sadly done, more than once.
So when I started to blog, I never thought it would be a way to more regularly connect with Flower Child. She now lives in a different city, married to a man I don’t really know. I attended the wedding, heard wonderful things about him and met him once. But what is important is he makes my friend happy and he has pledged to love her forever. That means he is terrific.
Flower Child recently started to post on a regular basis and it gives me a window into her world. We email several times a day. We have a whole new layer to build on our foundation from graduate school. For instance, I learned about her high school classmate who inspired her to choose public health for her career.
But then there is that random person who leaves comments on your blog. Someone who is simply a hyperlinked name on the screen. You go to her site and she is pretty interesting. And then you start emailing back and forth. Then you start hoping there will be a message from her when you open your inbox.
Then you have someone ask you how long you’ve know Jenn in Holland. You explain, “oh, a few months” and they stop walking to express their shock. “You mean you’ve never met Jenn?”
I have never met Jenn but she is one of those people I’ve known forever but didn’t know. I’m so glad to finally find a missing piece.
I like both silver and gold and don’t see one as more valuable than the other. Just like my friends. New and old.
Allison, aka Soccer Mom in Denial, is a perfect compliment to ImpostorMom. If we aren’t all posing as moms, aren’t we in denial at times? Thanks to Niki for hosting her and you can find Niki’s piece about Silver and Gold at Allison’s place. Go visit The Blog Exchange for more blog swapping.
December 1, 2007 at 10:27 am |
Hooray for the Silver, Hooray for the Gold!
What a great take on the color theme for BE today. As you know, I have had my own conversation recently where the person I was talking to expressed utter disbelief over the idea that you and I weren’t friends of the GOLD variety.
As you also know, I adore you and I feel the exact same way about friendship, ours in particular, that you do.
Well said today.
xoxox
December 1, 2007 at 10:48 am |
How funny, b/c I feel the same way about you!
December 1, 2007 at 10:49 am |
It’s funny, but I got that the song meant your past and your present and future shoudl coexist…more so than that older friends are more important. And yet, I lived more in the present and future and lost my past, a bit. That’s what I blogged about (I exchanged with Rose). I think you are right that you can meet new friends that seem like people you’ve always known. Great post. ;)
Julie
Using My Words
December 1, 2007 at 11:22 am |
Hey! That’s me! Yes, it’s wonderful how you can stay connected to people over the years (thank god, internet). Oddly enough, your table was full of people I’ve only spoken to briefly over the years – and yet you all drove hours and hours to be there – I should have called you the solid gold table. It’s funny you mention the AIDS story – my husband read that blog post and had never heard the story either. Guess I forgot to tell everyone how I got started. Will save that for another post. And my husband and sister are also curious as to who all these new friends of mine are – Jenn in Holland? Gunfighter (that one really raises eyebrows)? By the way, new friends, we’re having a holiday party – come on over!
December 1, 2007 at 1:28 pm |
I’m so glad I got to host your post today Allison. Thanks for playing!
The majority of my friends are 5-10 year old, the friendships that is. Some of my closest friends are more toward the lesser number of years. I love them all though and we all bring different things to the table in our friendships.
December 1, 2007 at 1:56 pm |
Flower Child, I am on my way then! Expect me at the party!!
December 1, 2007 at 3:37 pm |
Great post! I can totally relate.
I’m so glad that ImpostorMom got me into blogging, both reading and writing. It’s really helped me feel re-connected to her, because we haven’t been the best at keeping in touch in other ways.
December 1, 2007 at 4:37 pm |
I’m going to echo Jodi’s comment!
December 1, 2007 at 5:10 pm |
Well, SMID…
Having met Flower Child recently, I can see why you’d be so fond… what a nice lady! (and unless something really bad happens, we’ll be at that party!)
As for Jenn in Holland… I happen to think she is quite something as well.
Silver and Gold, indeed.
GF
December 1, 2007 at 5:13 pm |
I’m always amazed how some people *don’t* get it – that you can find such great friends online!
December 1, 2007 at 7:05 pm |
I “know” several people only online too. It’s sort of weird to think about, but cool too. The more support I can get, the better.
December 2, 2007 at 11:06 am |
I so get what you mean about online friends. I’ve got one friend who lives so far away and I was thinking just the other day that it’s kind of a bummer that we may never actually meet in real life. It’s almost like finding a soul mate of the female variety!
I also find it frustrating to try to explain blogging friendships to people who don’t read blogs. I met a couple of blogging friends IRL recently and a co-worker was like “Be careful, you don’t know these people.” Yes. Yes, I do know these people.
December 4, 2007 at 8:07 am |
This is too weird – that song was our elementary school’s anthem. We started every gathering with that song. And we sang it as a round, too. And I just came from Jenn’s blog, where she had another elementary school fave up there. Great post.